Menstrual Cramps, FML.

     Today marks the day of my week-long battle with dysmenorrhea, for the 123654789th time of my life. I hate it. I freakin' hate it. I hate people when I'm having it. The world probably hates me when I'm having it, because apparently, I turn into a monster. My mom even told me, "Para kang naglilihi," because I am like a woman in her early stages of pregnancy who eats a lot and lies down and gets angered and irritable easily.

     At exactly 2:34 pm today, I discovered that I got my period. First thought was: "Heyyy you are a tad bit early," #IrregularGirlProblems. Then came "Damn, my classmate asked for my emergency pad yesterday." So I had no choice but to go out and buy one from the nearest convenience store.

     Then I had to still go to class. I was feeling very very uncomfortable because (1) I was not able to wash properly, and the wet wipes just won't cover the uncomfortableness of your first day. (2) The room was soooo cold with its full-blast air conditioning. Home girls will understand me. (3) The cramps are starting to claw their way out of my abdomen. #exagg

     After class, I figured that I should probably buy coffee to at least make me feel better. It worked for a short time. Coffee is my life, so yeah. Drinking my coffee to-go, I started heading home. It's a Saturday, so I was hopeful that the traffic in U-belt is much more forgiving than the regular school days. It's not. The traffic was merciless. So was the dysmenorrhea.

     I live in Pasig, so the commute from U-belt was quite long. Half-way home, I started to feel uneasy. At first, I thought it was brought about by the cramps. But then it's like the cramping feeling is moving from my lower abdomen to my whole abdominal area. It could probably be because of the period, and then it dawned on me that I had a huge cup of coffee. With milk.

     I felt kind of gassy, but of course, grace under pressure (after all I was sporting a good MAC lipstick color a while ago so it would be very wa-poise and dyahe if i farted like a man). I was sweating beads and I swear deep inside I was panicking because the pain form the period was intensified and I was scared that i cnnot control the urge. Lol, I survived. It was very hard.

     Bottomline, I hated this day. I am writing about it because I am setting the bar on the FML moments. I hope it won't go any higher than this.

Do-overs and realizations (Feat. Sara Bareilles & Iggy Azalea)

So I just poured my morning rants out in a very unpremeditated manner via my previous blog post and I thought it was not only an impromptu but also, poorly constructed. Maybe I should just quit hitting "publish" every time I got to let go of something, eh?

After that blog post (which probably won't be read by anyone anyway, so what the fuss is this fuss about?) I knew I still had to go on with my life, of course. I still had an accounting lecture to attend to, so after lunch, I bathed and prepared myself. It's a Saturday and on such days, we do not wear our uniform.

Do-over 

Imagine the horror that comes with deciding on what to wear. Ladies, hear me? I know, right?

Bitch, my closet isn't as tidy as yours. Shut up.

I have found myself in the situation where I really really really like a certain outfit. I don't want to sound vain, but I have this thing about wearing my clothes repeatedly - it makes me really annoyed with myself. But since I really really really liked that shirt, I wouldn't care if I hang myself for wearing it again. And then I just got tired of it. And then I see it as garbage. 

So I move on to the next favorite shirt that I managed to add up to the garbage category. Then some more. Until the only wearable, un-garbagey thing in my closet is a shirt that I didn't even liked in the first place. In the end I decided on wearing a tank top and a cardigan. Very chic.

Realization

I realized that I have a pathetic policy about wearing out my clothes. Not only because I get to turn my favorite clothes into garbage but also because my closet is a breathing entity. 

Yeah, maybe next week I will organize it.

It practically has a life of its own and I won't be surprised if I learn that there's a closet monster somewhere in that huge pit of fabric.

Do-over

After playing dress-up, I applied makeup. Whats a girl to do? (Never mind the hair, my hair reflects my state of mind.) I find happiness in makeup. Tell me I am not the only one.

And so I applied and removed and applied and removed. Just because I love the glitters and the colors and the effect on my hopeless face.

Realization

I am going to school so I better not make any smoky-eye and dramatic contouring. Besides, I would look funny wearing that much makeup when all I had to do was sit for four hours and listen to the professor and write and listen and not be appreciated for aesthetics. It's accounting, what would you expect?

Do-over

Just before I head out the door, I received a text from my friend, Joy. She was asking what time I should be in school, because she's clingy like that. Kidding. She just goes to school every other day, so we need to catch-up on things. After the crying episode that morning, I realized that there's no sense in carrying the depression over until the end of the day.

During the ride to school, I felt better. It was sunny but not hot, and the weather is nice. Iggy Azalea was asking who dat, who dat that do dat, do dat. Because she be the I-G-G-Y and she'll put her name in bold. She's fancy like that.

Realization

My music is playing on shuffle. I didn't even realize that Sara Bareilles is making me teary-eyed, as if I was listening to a Nicholas Sparks audiobook, when she was just singing about a really old city in the center of Queens.

Sara, why are you doing this to me? 

I don't know why I cried, okay?

Realization

I guess I just feel like my life is going way too fast for me, and the only way I can cope up is to vent it out. But of course, being the weirdo that I am, I can't find the way to express my deepest, darkest issues. Even I can't enumerate them myself, so I can try to fix them up, at least for my own peace of mind. I just can't, so my brain just says "Cry. Wallow in self-pity. Eat ice cream. Repeat."

Do-over

Maybe I should just accept the fact that I am losing it. Or I am near losing it. Who cares? The next time I feel like crying, maybe I would just watch Armageddon again. And again. And again. Or The Notebook. Or The Last Song. Or all of them. Then I could just blame it all on the movie. Or movies. Or whatever.

You said, remember that life is

Not meant to be wasted

We can always be chasing the sun

So fill up your lungs and just run

But always be chasing the sun!

And all we can do is try. 

-Sara Bareilles, Chasing the Sun

5.34 doses of sadness.

I woke up this morning in a very weird state.

I have been reading some pretty depressing books that made me ugly-cry recently, but this morning was surely different. I don’t know, maybe I have dreamt of something depressing and then forgot all about it as soon as I opened my eyes, but there really was something that had me crying at 5:34 am.

It’s like something inside me had just woke me up from a dreamless sleep to say “Hey, life is sad. You are sad. Go cry.” So I did. Mind you, it wasn't a teary eyed state of crying - it was somewhere near to a “cry yourself to sleep” type of sobbing but more painful in the chest because I tried really hard to suppress my sobs, because my sister is sleeping right beside me.

I checked my phone and it says 5:34, and that in itself was weird. Ever since this school year started, I don’t wake up at 5:34 am. Give or take the fact that I stay up until 3 am studying, thus making the 4 am to 6 am zone a deep-in-slumber you-can’t-do-anything-to-wake-me-up-zone.

I did get sleep eventually, I’m not really sure at what time. At past 7 am, my mom goes about yelling for everyone (or is it just dad?) to wake up. I did, too. When I went downstairs, I felt okay. I laid down again but did not sleep as what I always do until I get the urge to have some coffee. I just laid there, one arm my face. Minutes later, I realized that I was tearing up yet again. I asked myself what could have been making me cry, but I cannot extract the answers. Not knowing just made it even more sad. I do not know what was wrong with me.

I laid there hiding my puffy face and pretending to sleep when my mom gets out from bath. I am praying that she didn't see, because that would just make her think that I am trying to act it out. That would add up to the sadness.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I’m on the verge of losing it.

My Christmas break is being sabotaged by the universe.

       Much as I do want to celebrate the Holidays in a cheerful spirit, I can't. My body is being dumped into an itch-hole, and honestly I'm blaming the universe for this unfortunate event. Partially because I need someone to blame and partially because I really can't find the cause. I never did away from the responsibility of maintaining my personal hygiene, but *scratch* I'm growing a whole plantation of red marks and breakouts, mostly on my legs and on my back *scratch,scratch*. To add up on the grossness, they look like insect bites and prickly-heat combined in one single red dot. It's that gross.

     Unless someone wants to party with a girl smelling like chinese chili liniment (It subsides the itch, I promise... makes the redness worse, though.) I would be staying at home, in the comfort of my jogging pants, sitting with a jar of nutella, contemplating whether to watch food network or start with my homeworks.

Twenty. (THE FEELS)

I just got home from school and I was just waiting for the clock to strike 12. It feels like such a pathetic thing to do, to wait for the first minute of your birthday. My veins are filled with caffeine, it's the final exams for me and I need to fuel myself with enough energy to last me a whole day of accounting tomorrow -- and tonight, and next night and on Saturday, for that matter. I thought it would just be fitting to waste my time on ranting before the birthday greetings surge in.

I spent the third to the last hour of my teenage years in a waiting shed under the pouring rain, listening to the noise of Manila. There was a boy from UE who was looking at me, he was also probably waiting for a jeep. At first I wanted to glare at him and give him the "You're such a creep-o" look, but I thought better of it and just let it pass. It was the most boring hour of my life.

The second to the last hour was spent on traffic. The woman sitting beside me was asleep. She was leaning on my left shoulder, and normally I wouldn't have let her. Under some I-don't-know circumstances, I thought there was nothing wrong with it so I just stared on the floor. There was a moment when I wanted to bring out my auditing theory book and continue my review, but then I snapped out of it as immediately as I tried. I forgot that I would have to read the book itself, and the lighting was so dim so it's impossible. I ended up thinking of my lolo and how much I miss him.

The last hour was spent on more traffic and some rain. And some dinner alone and some blog posting. And some watching TV and some checking the mail. And some tweeting and facebook-ing.Those three hours pretty much conclude my teenage years. I'm twenty. Where did life go?On a brighter note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE. :) Okay, back to the books. 

xo.//c

Unlimited Sweets @ Love Desserts

Just when I thought I could go back to my less-sugar-less-salt-more-water diet, my good friend Anj took us to a place one commute from our school. Who could refuse a dessert buffet?

For only P199 per person, you could choose from a wide array of sweets - cakes and pastries, chocolate treats, fruits, candies, ice cream, milkshakes, iced tea, crepe, coffee, halo-halo and even some stuff like empanadas, manggang hilaw & bagoong, lumpiang shanghai and other finger foods (probably to give your taste buds a break from all the sweets).

How cute are these?

Sylvannas - Anj's & Anna's fave. 

Once you enter Love Desserts, you'll see this refrigerator that holds all the cakes (all yummy-looking) and you'll really get all excited. Buffet 101: Don't get all too excited or else you'll get full too soon. Just like what happened to us. We were overwhelmed with what we see that we forgot that we have 2 hours to stretch, and we're already too full just by the first hour. 

The halo-halo and milkshake station. (Boo, I didn't get to try the halo-halo.)

Crepe station -  with lots of toppings to choose from.

For crepes and milkshakes, you could ask the crew to prepare some for you.

Milkshakes: Coffee Crumble (too sweet -Joy), Vanilla (which I tried, it tastes normal), Chocolate, Buko and Melon.

Crepes: Peach, Strawberry, Blueberry & Banana.

I tried the peach and Angel got the strawberry. Mine was kind of fresh and tangy, in contrast with her strawberry's too-sweet and straight from the bottle effect. Their crepe batter is slightly bland for me, but what's crepe without ice cream, right?

Ice cream from Big Scoop. I had Vanilla with my crepe and Calamansi Sorbet as my last scoop and it was so refreshing.

Ice cream toppings!

Blogger Review by the tissue. srsly.

Before I forget, We went there on a rainy afternoon. Yes, we're rebels like that. So, combating the flooded Espana and the nonstop rain, a serving of lugaw is welcome. Too welcome, I should say. Their lugaw (porridge) is ah-mazing. Perfect for the weather, and perfect to remove the excessive sweet taste.

Joy, probably satisfied, and Angel, enjoying her ice cream.

Did we overstay? I think the waitress was almost going to make us leave. Hi Em! :)

HAPPYNESS :) Photo credits to Angel.

We'll definitely go back - probably after exams. :)

* * *

xx.

4th Year, BSA: Still Alive, But I'm Barely Breathing.

It was very hard, but yeah, we're still alive! Woot!

4th year and still an accounting student, baby!

Kaw, Anna, Me & Joy goofing around.

What would be a first day of the year without some pictures, right? :)

Joy: I'm HUNGREEEHHHH!!
Anna: I don't care, I'm having a photoshoot.

Waiting for our classes to start. Say Hi to Psalms! (The one at the rightmost part)

Hi Jason. Macho, right? Lol, kidding. Seriously, I'm kidding.

Professors just being the important professors that they are. Always late. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

One classmate actually told me: What if you write something about the professors being late or absent on the first day of school? Don't they know that this is the only day that the students are actually excited to go to school? Then they won't show up? Wtf, dude. Wtf.

Apparently, he's blaming the professors' lack of punctuality for the students' loss of interest in school. Monkey see, monkey do. Well, makes sense.

Feeling Vintage. 

 Pardon the randomness. We're Having fun with the camera360 app.. :D 

Anna's famous shitshit face.

Err.. I don't really know what's happening here.

At least my head's in proportion with my thunder thighs. -_-

Our Boys, Ryan & Kaw.

Blurred! But this one's funny. Anna's the camera conscious one indeed. :D

Kaw, look up.

One of my favorite people in the whole wide world.

So.. before the stress comes down to us (which means next week), we wanted to have fun. 

Life is colorful in BSA~ lalala.

So, to the guys out there who are crapping their hearts out just to pass one accounting subject: HA! LOSERS!! :p

Kidding. But seriously, you'll still undergo that kind of torture and maybe more as you go higher. Just try to enjoy it, and have fun. Don't stress yourselves too much, or else you'll just see yourself having more difficulty. You'll just get ugly.

xx.

College Friends' Birthday Surprise

My friends don't always talk behind my back, but when they do.. =">

College is not the most exciting part  of your academic life. Says who?

I've known these people just when I stepped in college. Some, a longer span of time than the others.

I'm 19 already! I can't believe this. My last year of being a teenager. <//3 Just when my parents are letting me go home late (still with the help of thorough convincing. But still.) Only now am I enjoying my teenage years!! And then It's my last? Oh God, why?

I really didn't expect that something like this would come up. It's finals and everyone's busy, so I was really surprised when they gave me these. Oh, you guys.=)

But anyway, whatever the number is. As what John Lennon once said:

"Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears."

Thank you friends! :)

Anna Fajardo, Jason Quinosa, Kyzz Cornelio, Angel Cruz, Emmanuelle Digno, Daren Mananquil, Jaztine Marie Adap, Abby Malvar, Sofio Gonzalvo, Ryan Galao, Joy Alfon, Nathaniel Ferrer, Rona Nitcha, Kristelle Mateo, Celina Panaga, Lauren Rogando, JM Tabucanon, Clifford Opinion, Kariza Mendoza, John Kaw and Richard Atienza

You made my day extra special. I love you all!! :*

Before August ends...

Just so I have something listed in my August archives. Teehee.

I know I've been on hiatus mode this whole month, all thanks to my very busy schedule and a whopping tons of credit to my lazy pants (I know, sorry). This month has been the busiest and most hectic so far, with the midterm exams and all.

Three weeks ago, I think?

This photo was taken from our terrace, and no, I am not living in Italy (though I know Italy's rivers would be a hundred times more clean-looking than this). Brought about by a Low Pressure Area, this flood was really terrible. Almost the entire Metro was flooded so everyone's like trapped in their homes or evacuation centers. Plus, electricity in some area were cut.

Bipolar Weather and Suspension of Classes

The weather here in Manila is driving me nuts. One moment it's raining super hard, and the other the sun gapes at you like an idiot, saying, "Burn, baby! burn!"

What the fudge, universe?!

Last night, I was praying for a class suspension, because I have two accounting quizzes that I forgot to review for. Luckily (for me), I woke up this morning to find that it's still raining -- Hard. It's kinda scary, though. It's a bummer, because I thought that rain or no rain, I would have to go to school because of the quizzes, unless there would be an official announcement from the school.

Or else this would have happened all over again.

My schoolmates, hovering around because the school failed to suspend classes before we actually left home.

So we would have to go through this. 

These photos were two weeks ago, when I went to school despite the raining and raging winds (and they did not suspend classes early enough to stop me from doing so). Yes, all because I was scared of missing a quiz. Call me grade conscious or whatnot, but I'm a nerd like that. Classes were suspended too late, when almost all students were already wet. Jeez.

I didn't go home just yet, I watched the Dark Knight Rises - and it's pretty AWESOME!

Now back to today. Since there's no classes and it's such a bed weather, maybe I could just lie in my PJ's and watch Adventure time. Or maybe read A fault in Our Stars or listen to Overexposed. Or both? If I'm not too consumed by the bed, then I would be browsing my accounting books. Which is 1% possible. :))