Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Truth About Commitment

  I am not good at being on the other end of commitment ropes. I have broken quite a lot of promises, and I have tried to avoid certain circumstances for my own comfort. Not cool. But then, there’s this line:

“If you can’t hang then there’s the door, baby.” (SWS, 2011)

  Probably not the best line to quote for this topic, but hey, this is my blog so fock uff. First of all, I am not a stayer. I am a leaver, I admit. But I really think that staying in a relationship just for the sake of hanging around and eventually being annoyed with each other is not the way to go. If I don’t think the relationship is giving me what I deserve, then I leave. It’s just the same thing as the way that I expect the other party to not settle for my shortcomings. Life is not a battle of who stays or who goes, it’s about who gets to be truthful about their feelings.

  If you’re happy, you stay. If you’re not, you leave. There’s no such thing as an in between, where you suffer and ignore.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Barbara Conklin | P.S. I Love You

My mother made me do it.
It almost made me feel bad that I have given such a low rating, given the reviews and all, but still.
I give it a 2.5 rating -- and I have contemplated for a little while if I should round up or round down. There is no way that I am giving it a 1-star rating because I'm a sucker for summer flings and whirlwind romances.

I wasn't even planning to read this one because it looks like a really really old and corny romance pocketbook. And helloooo? The cover. The model just looks so sad. Ha, kidding. But seriously.

My mom posted this book on facebook, telling me that this was the first book that gave her the "kilig." She. Posted. And then there came the comments (by her batchmates, of course) about how much they loved this book when they were younger, how they tend to hide a copy in the library shelves just to be able to continue reading the next day... It was funny. And it got me curious.

P. S. I Love You 

When her father left after the divorce, Mariah lost her sense of family. Now she's lost her special summer, too. Instead of fulfilling her dream to become a writer, Mariah has to help her mother with a house-sitting job in very rich, very snobby Palm Springs. People with a lot of money make Mariah uncomfortable. Until she meets Paul Strobe, the rich boy next door. Paul's not a snob and he doesn't act superior. In fact, his sandy sandy hair and piercing blue eyes break down all Mariah's defences. With Paul, Palm Springs becomes the most romantic place on Earth.

But Paul has to go into the hospital for some tests and then an operation. He's seriously ill and all his family's money can't help him.

Will Mariah lose Paul, too, just when she's found her first love?

So not judging the book by the cover (yay, me!), I gave it a shot. I got the e-book copy and I doubt that there's still an available, physical book, and I'm not sure if it's available anywhere [amazon or what] because girl, the book is Jurassic.

May I just say... P.S. I love you. Yes Paul, I am in love with you too. You're another addition to my literary crushes because (a) you're artistic and capable of creating something, (b) you're tall and such a cutie, and (c) you're rich [lol no just kidding] you're deep and humble and funny and generous. This guy, ladies and gentlemen, is the epitome of a perfect summer crush.

Dear Mariah, you're young. For goodness' sake, you're 16 so there's no way you cannot move on from that loss because hello, you've been with Paul for like 10 weeks (60-75% of which, he's at home or in the hospital being sick) and tbh with that time frame I doubt there will really be a "falling in love" that's going to happen. So yeah, I like it that you made him your inspiration and decided to move on with your life. Good job girlfriend!

Early into the book, I've had a few "awwe so cute" moments, and that was probably because of Paul-Kim (little sister) moments. It was quite short so not very much of a bother to read but all in all, it wasn't something that I would recommend reading, although all my mom's friends are telling that IT'S THE BOMB I mean seriously? Lol. I didn't relate at all. Butttt mom said it was a romance novel for early teeners, so maybe that's why. (BUT MOM!! SWEET VALLEY!!)

But, I think re-publishing these Sweet Dreams Romance Novels will bring nostalgia to those 80's babies. I mean, they're the workforce today, so, $$$. Just sayin'.

P.S. I am in love with the idea of snail mail.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Chuck Palahniuk | Snuff

Not my cup of tea, but there's something in there.
Disclaimer. I am 20 years old, as of the date. I understand these kinds of things. Kinda.

Snuff by 

Narrated by Mr. 72, Mr. 137, and Mr. 600 as they await their turn on camera, a novel about the role of pornography in contemporary life follows porn queen Cassie Wright, who plans to break the record for serial fornication with six hundred men on camera. [via Goodreads

I don't know if this is just another piece that would produce a commentary about the porn industry, or it was supposed to be a satirical attempt to point out that there's drama in porn. Or that porn stars are human, too? I don't know. Either way, I cannot help but imagine this work as a theatrical play. I am pretty sure that if this was written as a lengthy act, it would probably be better off. There's something about the character development that would suit the stage.

 There's a plot, alright. A good one, actually. Show/Hide spoilers.

Well, I have learned some things along the way, so good job!
- Marilyn Monroe used Zelda Zonk as an Alias.
- Cyanide smells like almonds.
- Almonds have cyanide.
- Marilyn Monroe probably wore non-matching heels to let her butt roll as she walks.
- Some ancient woman Melisanna... Melanie? Melisandre? Something.

This one got me interested (at least interested enough to keep reading) up until the three-quarters part, and from there, the plot was dying. The ending part... noting. I mean, the rapid fire of commotions and useless blabberings had me wanting to just finish it just for the sake of it. Nothing to look forward to.

Another issue: Repetitive Dialogue.

Then there is this quote:
"The closest thing that comes to how the day felt is when you wipe back to front. You're on the toilet. You're not thinking, and you smear shit on the back of your hanging-down wrinkled ball skin. The more you try to wipe it clean, the skin stretches and the mess keeps getting bigger. The thin layer of shit spreads into the hair and down your thighs. That's how a day like this, how it feels to keep secret."
(Snuff, page 4...AND page 187)

Apparently, that's how people with balls deal with their shit. BUT WHO WIPES BACK TO FRONT?  I cannot comprehend please tell me I really don't get the point of writing this passage twice.

Interested? Here's a video that I got from Chuck Palahniuk's website.
Why is Cassie Wright so huge? And man-like?

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Binge-watching Masterchef and my thoughts about season 5.

I've been watching Masterchef online nonstop because 
  1. Season 5 had started without me realizing it.
  2. I cannot catch it on TV everytime I'm at home. Yes, even the reruns.
  3. I'm still in the process of readjusting myself and accepting the fact that exams are here and I need to study more than I have been doing. So this is me, having the feast before the execution.
  4. Starworld airs the episodes super late and super slow. They're 10,000 episodes behind.

He lost it. Yep, he did. (@grahamelliot)

New crush alert!! Hi Daniel. 

So adorrrbbss. Haha what?

I like you guys a lot and...
Victoria Scroggins of Masterchef 5Elisabeth Cauvel of Masterchef 5
I like you guys a little.

This part tho! I didn't like how Ahran said that Courtney is someone that she wants to send home because she's a fake bitch or something like that, but her way of throwing her anger towards Courtney is something that made me not like her at all. I thought she sounded insecure and envious of the attention Courtney was getting from the judges, but she's just 18 so it's normal (?)

P.S. I didn't like how she handled the Leslie situation on episode 5, too. Too much disrespect for my preference.

The person I never want to win, but I wouldn't want to go home at the same time because he's fun to watch. Plus the man knows his kitchen well, so kudos, Leslie!

I'm on the 6th episode now and look who came by to say hi. Last year's Masterchef Luca, and the Youngest Masterchef, Alexander! Apparently, theirs are the dishes that the top 16 were making. 


 It all started with the Panna Cotta dish by Alexander that Jaimee attempted to recreate. It turned out a mess because it didn't set right.

What she wasn't able to deliver with the presentation, she compensated with the taste.

 "Maybe if there was the third one..." Queue the drama!

Of course, Chef Gordon Ramsay with his super blue eyes gets to the bottom of the problem and...

Tadaaaa! Here's what really happened.

Maybe in panic, Tyler accidentally got Jaimee's ramekin. At least that's what Gordon believed in, but apparently it wasn't enough to let him stay. Rules are rules. 

 In all fairness, he admitted to his honest mistake and accepted the verdict like a man. He even apologised to the ever-awkward yet super adorable Jaimee who, of course said, "No, I'm sorry that you got mine."

Thus the latest evictee of the Pinoy Big Brother House. Masterchef.

Watch with me! 
Every Sundays, at 8pm I think? on Starworld and Starworld HD.

All photo credits to Fox and Chef Graham Elliot.

Friday, August 15, 2014

#makeuptransfomation taking the internet by storm... And it's hilarious!

Recently, I have noticed that the latest trend #makeuptransformation has been bringing the buzz in the social world. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook - this hashtag has taken the internet by storm. From plain face to ambitious (or hilarious), this has been the best trend yet.

Not only the average Joes do it! Even the celebrities here in Manila hash joined the bandwagon, too.

From Ryan Agoncillo to Daniel Padilla. Plus points for the shirt effort! (from @thatsmytatayryan)
Am I seeing the strong resemblance here? No? (from @bodiecruz)
Channeling her inner Cleopatra. (from @delamararias)
Gino Quillamor... you're getting there. (from @ginoboi931)
I don't really see the difference, Jeremy.  Also the necessity of using lipgloss. (from @chicogarcia)
Even Erwan Heussaff did it! Transformation to Bogart the Explorer... not bad! (from @erwanjheussaff)
And the most ambitious of them all... He even made it to 9gag! (from @BogartDexplorer)

Images from twitter and instagram.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

When you've been fighting all your life...

It's out!!
So I've been stalking and waiting and patiently waiting. Hearing their new song just made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm in love with the band, sorry.

The Script has finally released the first single for their upcoming fourth album, No Sound Without Silence.
As it was said on their promo ad, the album is going to be released on Spetember 15, 2014. Another waiting game but, yeah. I hope it's worth it.

Fangirl with me.

peace. love. awesomeness.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Do-overs and realizations (Feat. Sara Bareilles & Iggy Azalea)

So I just poured my morning rants out in a very unpremeditated manner via my previous blog post and I thought it was not only an impromptu but also, poorly constructed. Maybe I should just quit hitting "publish" every time I got to let go of something, eh?

After that blog post (which probably won't be read by anyone anyway, so what the fuss is this fuss about?) I knew I still had to go on with my life, of course. I still had an accounting lecture to attend to, so after lunch, I bathed and prepared myself. It's a Saturday and on such days, we do not wear our uniform.


Imagine the horror that comes with deciding on what to wear. Ladies, hear me? I know, right?

Bitch, my closet isn't as tidy as yours. Shut up.
I have found myself in the situation where I really really really like a certain outfit. I don't want to sound vain, but I have this thing about wearing my clothes repeatedly - it makes me really annoyed with myself. But since I really really really liked that shirt, I wouldn't care if I hang myself for wearing it again. And then I just got tired of it. And then I see it as garbage. 

So I move on to the next favorite shirt that I managed to add up to the garbage category. Then some more. Until the only wearable, un-garbagey thing in my closet is a shirt that I didn't even liked in the first place. In the end I decided on wearing a tank top and a cardigan. Very chic.


I realized that I have a pathetic policy about wearing out my clothes. Not only because I get to turn my favorite clothes into garbage but also because my closet is a breathing entity. 
Yeah, maybe next week I will organize it.
It practically has a life of its own and I won't be surprised if I learn that there's a closet monster somewhere in that huge pit of fabric.


After playing dress-up, I applied makeup. Whats a girl to do? (Never mind the hair, my hair reflects my state of mind.) I find happiness in makeup. Tell me I am not the only one.

And so I applied and removed and applied and removed. Just because I love the glitters and the colors and the effect on my hopeless face.


I am going to school so I better not make any smoky-eye and dramatic contouring. Besides, I would look funny wearing that much makeup when all I had to do was sit for four hours and listen to the professor and write and listen and not be appreciated for aesthetics. It's accounting, what would you expect?


Just before I head out the door, I received a text from my friend, Joy. She was asking what time I should be in school, because she's clingy like that. Kidding. She just goes to school every other day, so we need to catch-up on things. After the crying episode that morning, I realized that there's no sense in carrying the depression over until the end of the day.

During the ride to school, I felt better. It was sunny but not hot, and the weather is nice. Iggy Azalea was asking who dat, who dat that do dat, do dat. Because she be the I-G-G-Y and she'll put her name in bold. She's fancy like that.


My music is playing on shuffle. I didn't even realize that Sara Bareilles is making me teary-eyed, as if I was listening to a Nicholas Sparks audiobook, when she was just singing about a really old city in the center of Queens.

Sara, why are you doing this to me? 

I don't know why I cried, okay?


I guess I just feel like my life is going way too fast for me, and the only way I can cope up is to vent it out. But of course, being the weirdo that I am, I can't find the way to express my deepest, darkest issues. Even I can't enumerate them myself, so I can try to fix them up, at least for my own peace of mind. I just can't, so my brain just says "Cry. Wallow in self-pity. Eat ice cream. Repeat."


Maybe I should just accept the fact that I am losing it. Or I am near losing it. Who cares? The next time I feel like crying, maybe I would just watch Armageddon again. And again. And again. Or The Notebook. Or The Last Song. Or all of them. Then I could just blame it all on the movie. Or movies. Or whatever.

You said, remember that life is
Not meant to be wasted
We can always be chasing the sun
So fill up your lungs and just run
But always be chasing the sun!
And all we can do is try. 

-Sara Bareilles, Chasing the Sun

Saturday, June 28, 2014

5.34 doses of sadness.

I woke up this morning in a very weird state.

I have been reading some pretty depressing books that made me ugly-cry recently, but this morning was surely different. I don’t know, maybe I have dreamt of something depressing and then forgot all about it as soon as I opened my eyes, but there really was something that had me crying at 5:34 am.

It’s like something inside me had just woke me up from a dreamless sleep to say “Hey, life is sad. You are sad. Go cry.” So I did. Mind you, it wasn't a teary eyed state of crying - it was somewhere near to a “cry yourself to sleep” type of sobbing but more painful in the chest because I tried really hard to suppress my sobs, because my sister is sleeping right beside me.

I checked my phone and it says 5:34, and that in itself was weird. Ever since this school year started, I don’t wake up at 5:34 am. Give or take the fact that I stay up until 3 am studying, thus making the 4 am to 6 am zone a deep-in-slumber you-can’t-do-anything-to-wake-me-up-zone.

I did get sleep eventually, I’m not really sure at what time. At past 7 am, my mom goes about yelling for everyone (or is it just dad?) to wake up. I did, too. When I went downstairs, I felt okay. I laid down again but did not sleep as what I always do until I get the urge to have some coffee. I just laid there, one arm my face. Minutes later, I realized that I was tearing up yet again. I asked myself what could have been making me cry, but I cannot extract the answers. Not knowing just made it even more sad. I do not know what was wrong with me.

I laid there hiding my puffy face and pretending to sleep when my mom gets out from bath. I am praying that she didn't see, because that would just make her think that I am trying to act it out. That would add up to the sadness.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I’m on the verge of losing it.

Friday, June 13, 2014

I really love you but I'm not good with words so here you go.

One day, that guy will come along.

He appreciates music more than rash talking.

He knows the value of comfortable silence

and the understanding that comes along with it.

He will speak once in a while

but of nothing that won’t make me feel loved.

Nothing will come out forced

for everything about him goes out freely.


One day.

Monday, June 9, 2014

I'm not yet over Eleanor & Park, neither should you be.

I came across some news. Oh, just you know, normal news. Eleanor & Park is going to be a motion picture. You know, by DreamWorks. Okay? Spazz out with me. 

In case you don't believe me... Read on, fandom!

Big Red is headed to the big screen.  
The girl with the flaming curls (and not-so-flattering nickname) from Eleanor & Park and
her soft-spoken, comic-book-loving crush will soon be getting the cinematic treatment, with DreamWorks Studios picking up film rights to Rainbow Rowell’s bestselling novel.
“Every girl who has read it says, ‘That was me in high school, or that was me in 7th grade,’” Holly Bario, DreamWorks president of production, tells EW. “It reminded all of us of our own sort of awkwardness, or family dysfunction.

The studio was drawn to the teenage love story for the same reason as its legions of fans. “It’s not the typical story where the ugly duckling is in love with the hot guy,” Bario says. “They’re both trying to find their way. They’re both outcasts.”
Set in 1986, and following one school year in Omaha, the novel follows the tentative romance of two 16-year-olds: Eleanor, a somewhat heavy girl overwhelmed by insecurities and trying to survive an abusive household, and Park, the quiet, half-Korean kid who also doesn’t feel like he fits in, but finds refuge in music and comic books. 
After its publication in February 2013, the book spent 12 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and has inspired a passionate, devoted following. 
“The book is uniquely structured in that one chapter is told by Eleanor and one chapter is told from Park’s perspective, and they alternate,” Bario points out. “So we’re trying to figure out how to do that in a movie. There are all storts of groovy stylistic things you could do with voice over, or words on the screen, but we want something that’s realRainbow.” 
With that in mind, Rowell – who is repped by UTA — has also been hired to write the screenplay. “She’s in the middle of writing another book, so we’re patiently waiting for her,” Bario said. 
Already on board the project are producer Carla Hacken, who as a studio executive oversaw Walk the Line and The Devil Wears Prada, and executive producer Matt Kennedy (the upcoming Predestination.)
Once the script is in, a director and cast will be attached. DreamWorks hopes to start shooting in 2015. 
But fans don’t need to wait for that … Who would YOU cast in the two main roles? Better to go with unknowns, or find a pair of young actors already on the rise?
           [source: http://insidemovies.ew.com]

And also: how awesome is this fanmade poster? I stumbled upon this on Tumblr. Credits to Antonette of The-Manila-Institute.

We're definitely waiting for this one. 

Peace. Love. Awesomeness.
//c xx.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Rainbow Rowell | Eleanor & Park

     I have started this book like, a month ago but had to put it down because of finals coming up. Then it went forgotten, until my best friend one day asked me if have read it. I was asking for some light-reads and she suggested that I read it.

     To be honest, I was able to afford putting it down the first time because I had the impression of it just being some YA novel with quotable quotes and not much deep impact. But before I knew it, I was ugly-crying under the covers at 2am just because.


Two misfits. One extraordinary love.

Eleanor... Red hair, wrong clothes. Standing behind him until he turns his head. Lying beside him until he wakes up. Making everyone else seem drabber and flatter and never good enough...Eleanor.

Park... He knows she'll love a song before he plays it for her. He laughs at her jokes before she ever gets to the punch line. There's a place on his chest, just below his throat, that makes her want to keep promises...Park.

Set over the course of one school year, this is the story of two star-crossed sixteen-year-olds—smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try. 
[via Goodreads]


     This is the first book by Rainbow Rowell that I have read. First things first: how cute is her name, right? Pseudonym or not, I like it. Not that it matters, but still. The name also made me think that the the author was a guy sorry but then I thought what guy would actually name himself rainbow? So I figured it was the last name that got me thinking of a Mr. Rowell so yeah.

[Read further and you might spoil yourself.]

     Of all the things that I love about this book, the one thing that got me is the way that the author presented Eleanor. She's a redhead, and as if that's not enough reason to get bullied, she is also huge. I just don't know if it is chubby-huge or huge-huge, but in my mind it was renaissance model-huge. And she dresses differently from the others, which made me think, "WHYYYY? Aren't bullied girls supposed to be wanting to blend in, not stand out?" But then, girl. That's what you call genius character development.

     So... Park. Park the Asian kid who grew up in a conducive-to-growing-up household is selfish. Compared to Eleanor, his only problem aside from a episodal identity crisis is looking for his father's approval. Oh yeah, and his schoolmates'. But that's pretty much it! He gets fed accordingly, he has both his parents, he has material things (thus the comics and all those records) and he had some good looks in there. I don't even get why he thinks he's an outcast, he could pretty much get in the crowd if he wants to. #YouHaveTheIDatedTinaCardSoGoPlayYouDumbass #PlusYouCanKickAssOkay

     But then we have the other Park. Eleanor's Park. The Park who is pretty in eyeliner. The Park who is deep and caring and selfless. The Park who is too adorable that even Eleanor who hates the word fell in love with. Need I say more?

     Fast forward to the main conflict - the time when Eleanor realized that her life in Omaha was so screwed up so she needs to go to her uncle's. I WAS TORN. To bits. I knew that she needs to get away from that asshole stepfather of hers but then she needs to leave Park. Why is the world so cruel?

     How can I pull myself together after that last chapter, though? What are those 3 words, even? How could you, Rainbow Rowell? You made me fall in love with the idea of first love and then you broke my heart. Cruel, but pure genius.

    I love it and I hate it at the same time, if there is such feeling at all. I love and hate it so much that it hurts. It hurts how much I ship Eleanor & Park and I hate how much I love their respective points of view. I hate how Rainbow Rowell made me feel like an unfortunately deprived and abused teenage girl and I hate how she made me fall in love with the idea of falling in love. I hate it that she took it all away in the blink of an eye, and left me hanging, asking myself what three words would I have written if I was Eleanor.

I give it:

Rock on.