My Christmas break is being sabotaged by the universe.

       Much as I do want to celebrate the Holidays in a cheerful spirit, I can't. My body is being dumped into an itch-hole, and honestly I'm blaming the universe for this unfortunate event. Partially because I need someone to blame and partially because I really can't find the cause. I never did away from the responsibility of maintaining my personal hygiene, but *scratch* I'm growing a whole plantation of red marks and breakouts, mostly on my legs and on my back *scratch,scratch*. To add up on the grossness, they look like insect bites and prickly-heat combined in one single red dot. It's that gross.

     Unless someone wants to party with a girl smelling like chinese chili liniment (It subsides the itch, I promise... makes the redness worse, though.) I would be staying at home, in the comfort of my jogging pants, sitting with a jar of nutella, contemplating whether to watch food network or start with my homeworks.

Twenty. (THE FEELS)

I just got home from school and I was just waiting for the clock to strike 12. It feels like such a pathetic thing to do, to wait for the first minute of your birthday. My veins are filled with caffeine, it's the final exams for me and I need to fuel myself with enough energy to last me a whole day of accounting tomorrow -- and tonight, and next night and on Saturday, for that matter. I thought it would just be fitting to waste my time on ranting before the birthday greetings surge in.

I spent the third to the last hour of my teenage years in a waiting shed under the pouring rain, listening to the noise of Manila. There was a boy from UE who was looking at me, he was also probably waiting for a jeep. At first I wanted to glare at him and give him the "You're such a creep-o" look, but I thought better of it and just let it pass. It was the most boring hour of my life.

The second to the last hour was spent on traffic. The woman sitting beside me was asleep. She was leaning on my left shoulder, and normally I wouldn't have let her. Under some I-don't-know circumstances, I thought there was nothing wrong with it so I just stared on the floor. There was a moment when I wanted to bring out my auditing theory book and continue my review, but then I snapped out of it as immediately as I tried. I forgot that I would have to read the book itself, and the lighting was so dim so it's impossible. I ended up thinking of my lolo and how much I miss him.

The last hour was spent on more traffic and some rain. And some dinner alone and some blog posting. And some watching TV and some checking the mail. And some tweeting and facebook-ing.Those three hours pretty much conclude my teenage years. I'm twenty. Where did life go?On a brighter note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE. :) Okay, back to the books. 

xo.//c

You can call me queen bee. xx

ONE-TRACK POST

Okay, so it was just last night that I have encountered "Lorde - Royals" when I was browsing through YouTube on my sister's phone (I lost mine, different story) and saw a makeup tutorial inspired by her look in the same music video. At first I was like "Who the hell is this person? She's making her a makeup tutorial inspiration and I don't know who she is." I googled and I listened and I thought she sounds like Lana del Ray. There was this really haunting vibe about her voice that makes me want to listen again.

And so I did. I got her on my iTunes and she's actually on repeat for.. 36 times now since tonight. It was good to just have this song on the background.

This song is the anthem of the poor. 

We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams.

xo.//c

Lea Michele had me crying buckets.

I haven't seen the whole lot, but surely, this part of the most recent Teen's Choice Awards had me crying after watching it. I haven't had the guts to post something about Cory's passing because I'm an avid fan and I just can't take it. Just because. It's just so touching to see something this heartwarming. Gahd.

_{“Thank you guys. Thank you. I just wanted to be here today to personally thank all of you and tell everyone out there how much all of your love and support has meant to me over these very past difficult few weeks. Thank you. Not that I had any doubt before, but you guys are most certainly the greatest fans in the world. And I wanted to dedicate this award to Cory. For all of you out there who loved and admired Cory as much as I did, I promise that with your love we’re gonna get through this together. He was very special to me, and also to the world. And we were very lucky to witness his incredible talent, his handsome smile, and his beautiful, beautiful heart. So whether you knew him personally, or just as Finn Hudson, Cory reached out, and he became a part of all of our hearts, and that’s where he’ll stay forever, so thank you guys so much. Thank you.”}

I'm not sure how I'll be able to get over the passing of a partner, but kudos to Lea, she has gone through it graciously. I hope I can do the same if and only if the time comes. If and only if. Knock on wood.

xo.

This weather needs no pick-me-up.

I have the strong conviction that on a weather like this, music is there to make you feel sad when you're happy and sadder when you're already sad. Most people would want to have a pick-me-up playlist so they won't get sleepy or depressed. I say this weather is perfect for a gloomy, depressing playlist because yolo.

#MyAccountingFeels

     The more that I get myself hooked at blogging and helping my friends organize a school event, the more that I doubt if I'm actually on the right track with my career. Maybe I'm actually born to pursue the field of arts. Or maybe I was born to write, I don't know. There's really a huge part of me that wants to quit this accounting shit and just slack off. Kidding. Maybe if given another chance, I'd be a journalist or a MasComm student. OR better yet, I'd be doing the thing that I kinda enjoy at the moment: multimedia arts. Or interior / fashion design. Or culinary. Or just anything that doesn't have something to do with counting money.

     Just to redeem myself from wallowing in self-pity, I am quite convinced that I could finish this thing and succeed. But then, working on jobs that involve boring clerical procedures doesn't sound so appealing anymore. I may be able to make money, but still, would I be happy?

     I'll have cash.

xx. 

Feels.

Me and my friends, in pretty much the wildest scenario that we could be caught dead in. We don't get drunk like most kids of our age do on a Friday night, instead, we eat an impossibly huge amount of sweets that a normal person could handle, looking for the right buzz to get away from a week's worth of drama, stress and shtty schoolworks. We're all of legal age yet we don't go to bars to unwind because we're nerds like that, and to be honest, I thank God that these people are who I get to interact with everyday. College will be the death of me if not because of them. Have I found the wrong crowd, then I'll be doomed. These people are enough to keep me hanging on to what I actually signed up for. But then, I realized from this pre-midterm bonding experience that I haven't seen my bestfriends for a very long time and I was reminded of how much I freakin' miss them.

Unlimited Sweets @ Love Desserts

Just when I thought I could go back to my less-sugar-less-salt-more-water diet, my good friend Anj took us to a place one commute from our school. Who could refuse a dessert buffet?

For only P199 per person, you could choose from a wide array of sweets - cakes and pastries, chocolate treats, fruits, candies, ice cream, milkshakes, iced tea, crepe, coffee, halo-halo and even some stuff like empanadas, manggang hilaw & bagoong, lumpiang shanghai and other finger foods (probably to give your taste buds a break from all the sweets).

How cute are these?

Sylvannas - Anj's & Anna's fave. 

Once you enter Love Desserts, you'll see this refrigerator that holds all the cakes (all yummy-looking) and you'll really get all excited. Buffet 101: Don't get all too excited or else you'll get full too soon. Just like what happened to us. We were overwhelmed with what we see that we forgot that we have 2 hours to stretch, and we're already too full just by the first hour. 

The halo-halo and milkshake station. (Boo, I didn't get to try the halo-halo.)

Crepe station -  with lots of toppings to choose from.

For crepes and milkshakes, you could ask the crew to prepare some for you.

Milkshakes: Coffee Crumble (too sweet -Joy), Vanilla (which I tried, it tastes normal), Chocolate, Buko and Melon.

Crepes: Peach, Strawberry, Blueberry & Banana.

I tried the peach and Angel got the strawberry. Mine was kind of fresh and tangy, in contrast with her strawberry's too-sweet and straight from the bottle effect. Their crepe batter is slightly bland for me, but what's crepe without ice cream, right?

Ice cream from Big Scoop. I had Vanilla with my crepe and Calamansi Sorbet as my last scoop and it was so refreshing.

Ice cream toppings!

Blogger Review by the tissue. srsly.

Before I forget, We went there on a rainy afternoon. Yes, we're rebels like that. So, combating the flooded Espana and the nonstop rain, a serving of lugaw is welcome. Too welcome, I should say. Their lugaw (porridge) is ah-mazing. Perfect for the weather, and perfect to remove the excessive sweet taste.

Joy, probably satisfied, and Angel, enjoying her ice cream.

Did we overstay? I think the waitress was almost going to make us leave. Hi Em! :)

HAPPYNESS :) Photo credits to Angel.

We'll definitely go back - probably after exams. :)

* * *

xx.

4th Year, BSA: Still Alive, But I'm Barely Breathing.

It was very hard, but yeah, we're still alive! Woot!

4th year and still an accounting student, baby!

Kaw, Anna, Me & Joy goofing around.

What would be a first day of the year without some pictures, right? :)

Joy: I'm HUNGREEEHHHH!!
Anna: I don't care, I'm having a photoshoot.

Waiting for our classes to start. Say Hi to Psalms! (The one at the rightmost part)

Hi Jason. Macho, right? Lol, kidding. Seriously, I'm kidding.

Professors just being the important professors that they are. Always late. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

One classmate actually told me: What if you write something about the professors being late or absent on the first day of school? Don't they know that this is the only day that the students are actually excited to go to school? Then they won't show up? Wtf, dude. Wtf.

Apparently, he's blaming the professors' lack of punctuality for the students' loss of interest in school. Monkey see, monkey do. Well, makes sense.

Feeling Vintage. 

 Pardon the randomness. We're Having fun with the camera360 app.. :D 

Anna's famous shitshit face.

Err.. I don't really know what's happening here.

At least my head's in proportion with my thunder thighs. -_-

Our Boys, Ryan & Kaw.

Blurred! But this one's funny. Anna's the camera conscious one indeed. :D

Kaw, look up.

One of my favorite people in the whole wide world.

So.. before the stress comes down to us (which means next week), we wanted to have fun. 

Life is colorful in BSA~ lalala.

So, to the guys out there who are crapping their hearts out just to pass one accounting subject: HA! LOSERS!! :p

Kidding. But seriously, you'll still undergo that kind of torture and maybe more as you go higher. Just try to enjoy it, and have fun. Don't stress yourselves too much, or else you'll just see yourself having more difficulty. You'll just get ugly.

xx.

Dear "R"

Part One.

During first grade, I always thought that boys are obnoxious beings who do nothing but annoy their girl classmates. They are always mean and scary looking. I know that it shouldn't bother me because I was the class president and all, but still. You were my classmate, but we weren't given the chance to be close.

Second grade came and I thought I was being punished to be seated between two boys. On my left side, a little boy whom I hated for being a pain in the ass on first grade. On my right side, you. I remember being paired up with you on a dance number, and I've had so much fun. I discovered that I liked dancing. A lot. By then I could say that we had shared a few laughs and we're pretty much close to each other. I still thought that boys are obnoxious, though.

You're the rockstar-emo guy.
I'm the class president who likes the color pink.

Third and fourth went by, and incidentally, you were my seatmate. I was almost fed up by your antics, you know? Almost. Also, I almost had a crush on you. Almost. You told me that you have a crush on one of our classmates. Remember the one with the pretty mole on her cheek?

I was only able to live a whole year without being bugged by you and your childish stories of romance on our fifth grade. We're still friends, but we've chosen to be interested in different things. You, the rockstar-rebel guy that you are, chose the path of all things black and blaring rock music. I, the grade conscious class president, chose to live by the books and train for math competitions.

Sixth grade was the most stressful year of my elementary life. Graduating and all, I tried hard to be on top of our class. You, on the other hand, were interested in yet another one of our classmates. She's a transferee, and she's really cute. I didn't care at all, the crush has long since subsided.

In the middle of the year, I don't know what happened but I've heard that you and the new girl aren't a thing anymore. You transferred seats and sat next to me. Being the curious cat that I was, I asked, "Why?"

Your answer me: "I don't know. I may be in love with someone. Maybe I have liked that someone ever since, I'm just scared that she doesn't like me back. I'm afraid she's too good for me."

I thought it was stupid. I thought it was absurd. I even thought you were gay, hiding behind all those blacksneakers and statement shirts. But then one day, I came to school just to see you by the gates. Without a word, you took my things from me and carried them until we reached the classroom. I was dumbfounded, of course.You never did that to anyone aside from the cute transferee.

I wasn't stupid not to figure things out. That very same day, I asked you, "Since when?" You answered me, "Last quarter of fourth grade, when you transferred seats. I tried to stop it, you know?" I didn't answer. How old were we, eleven? Twelve? I didn't do anything, I didn't even think that what is happening is something serious. I was that matured to think that it will pass, just like any other childhood romance that I see on T.V. Yet, it was the sweetest, most innocent thing that I have ever experienced. Looking back to that moment, I still think you were the cutest twelve year-old that I will ever know.

I cried. No one else saw that, but I know you did.

Just before graduation month, our adviser talked to me. She said that I may not be the valedictorian. I was crushed. I tried to do all that I can to get to that spot. But after a moment, I thought, what the hell? The other candidate also did well. He's better than me in some areas, so maybe I was just meant to be the second best.  I cried. No one else saw that, but I know you did. I saw you waiting by the guard house just before my school service came. I just wonder why you didn't talk to me about it. Until now, it serves as a mystery to me.

I also know that our teacher thought you had me distracted. I hope you didn't take this seriously. My grades didn't go lower, anyway. His grades just did a zoom. No one's fault. I was able to move on in a matter of a few hours. Or days.

Came graduation day. The way we parted ways was not the most convenient. A lot of things not talked about, a lot of feelings undisclosed. I guess that's the best part of being kids, right? No hard feelings, no grudges held. No admiration, no love to hold on to. You just move on easily. You don't take things seriously. You see each other some time in the future, and you just recollect all those memories that you'd laugh about when you remember.

It's been eight years. Funny, because I remember all these things as if they just happened not so long ago. I know you're happy now. You're the rock star, after all.


xx.
c.


p.s. My mom liked you, you know. She thinks you're cute.

Gabrielle Aplin: English Rain // Album Review

Imagine: Saturday afternoon. No noise aside from the relaxing sound of raindrops on the ground. The feeling of humid air, cozy and gentle. No, who wants humid air? We have plenty humid air in Manila and. It. Sucks.  You get the idea.

True to its title, her new album English Rain gave me the feels of a peaceful and stress-free rainy afternoon. If feelings were colors, she gives me gray with a hint of pastels. 

See? Even the album art is true to its word.

The very first song that diverted my attention to Gabrielle is Please Don't Say You Love Me which pretty much the most heartbreaking yet the most honest song I have ever heard. 

Heavy words are hard to take,

Under pressure things will break,

How we feel is hard to fake,

So lets not give the game away

I just can't help myself but notice that she sounds like Birdy. Is it just the accent, or do they really sound the same? [If you guys don't know, Birdy is the singer who brought you the revival of Bon Iver's Skinny Love.]

Even so, I am in love with Gabrielle Aplin. Though her melody and her voice are light and pastel and everything gentle, her lyrics will really strike you in a way that would give you an impact. Her way of delivering those words are so pure but nonetheless experienced, as if she's really trying to get you to feel how she felt while writing or singing those songs.

Tracks include: 

1. Panic Cord 
2. Keep on Walking 
3. Please Don't Say You Love Me 
4. How Do You Feel Today? 
5. Home 
6. Salvation 
7. Ready to Question 
8. The Power of Love 
9. Alive 
10. Human 
11. November 
12. Start of Time 
13. Take Me Away (bonus track)

I hope she makes a new one soon. Looking forward to a new Aplin experience.

xx.